Open this tea rapper for a lively brew

A Nice Cup of Tea by Jamie Broad, album cover

Yesterday, in Big Brother is watching you ….. make tea, I wrote about George Orwell’s essay A Nice Cup of Tea, in which he outlines his eleven personal “rules” for tea making. Today, I share with you eleven personal tea making “rules” from another man. Jamie Broad is a rapper from Liverpool – who knows a thing or two about how to make a nice cup of tea.


A Nice Cup of Tea by Jamie Broad. The Pocket Guide.

1) Put the kettle on to boil. Be sure there’s sufficient water in the kettle and that it’s plugged in.

2) Ask your guests, “Do you want a tea?” Count the “Yes’s. Neglect the “No’s.”

3) Make your way to the cupboard. Take out the appropriate amount of cups that relate to the amount of “Yes’s” you received.

4) Take out the teabags, add to the corresponding cups. Everyone has a favourite cup. It’s only fair if their’s is there, that if you’re making tea for that person then try to fill that one up.

5) Find out your guests’ preferences by asking, “How many sugars?” and/or “How milky?” NOTE: Get it right.

6) Pour the boiling water into the cups, making sure to pour through the teabag. Remember the milk preferences before you pour and reduce the amount of space required.

7) Give each cup a little swish with a teaspoon. This allows the bag’s flavour to be released.

8) Pull out the milk from the fridge and take off the top. Sniff it, even if it was opened only this morning.

9) Return to the mugs. Remember, the teaspoon’s your friend. Use it to mix the tea until it reaches the right colouring. Add sugar only to the correct mugs. Give it 20 stirs, then tap the spoon onto the side of the mug.

10) Take the tea to your guests and always ask the question, “Is that alright?”

11) Grab your own tea, and settle on the couch. Wait until you hear the universal seal of approval:


“Lovely that. Thank you. That was a nice cup of tea.”




A Nice Cup of Tea by Jamie Broad (from the album of the same name)
is available for free download here


Ancient Tea Ceremony of England

Ancient Tea Ceremony of England (simplified)




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